Jeff Blashill, via the Sun-Times
We put the Blackhawks coach's chair on a gas burner and let Chicago's record, goal differential and winless streak work the knob. It updates every time the Hawks play.
How we set the knob. Three ingredients, 100 points of heat, mapped onto an oven dial from 72°F (room temp) to 550°F (broil). This is a joke with arithmetic in it. It doesn't predict anything; general managers fire coaches, formulas don't.
Record (40): (0.600 − points%) ÷ 0.600 × 40. A .600 team or better adds nothing.
Goal diff (35): −(GD per game) ÷ 2.5 × 35. Getting outscored by 2.5 a night or worse maxes it out.
Winless streak (25): 5 points per straight game without a win, capped at 5. OT losses count; a point isn't a win.
Dial: 72 + heat × 4.78 °F.
Seat temperature after every game this season, using the same recipe on the record as it stood that night.
Dots: ● win · ● loss. Dashed line: 425°F, deep-dish baking temp.
| Date | Opp | Score | Seat |
|---|
The coach sits on the chair. Not everyone thinks he lit the burner.
Jeff Blashill, via the Sun-Times
Three chances to turn the burner down.